How to Overthink Things

Dragons are pretty cool. All of them. But today I'm referring to the classic European kind, the ones hunted by Knights for the rescuing of Fair Maidens. That kind.

And I was thinking earlier, about a plot for a (maybe) short story about a Dragon and someone who might need rescuing (or so other people think) from him.

And it got me thinking, what exactly do Dragons want with Princesses (or Fair Maidens) anyway?

I'm trying to remember what story (if any specific one exists) I'm wanting to reference for this... But you know the general idea, don't you? The Dragon shows up, sometimes demands a sacrifice to appease his hunger, and some pretty local girl winds up chained to a post in the woods. Sometimes there's no demand, it's just that the Dragon has been eating your sheep and the girl is supposed to be a bribe, I guess. (That seems counterintuitive to me, but that could be because I grew up in Florida and when you live there you're instructed NOT to feed the Alligators, because then they learn to associate people with food, and when Alligators get big this is a serious problem). Now, if the Dragon (and there's two kinds in my mind) is a big dumb vicious animal, you're teaching it that "food can be found right here, easily" since the girl can't run, and now you're encouraging it to hang about. If the Dragon is smart (and likely talks, since the two traits run together often) you're still giving it free food and encouraging it to turn to menacing villagers as a way to get fed, and to hang about in hopes of more maidenly offerings.

Usually, there's a Knight in this kind of story and this is where he comes in. Now that the Princess has been staked out, and the Dragon has come for her it's the Knight's job to go save her...

Save her from what? If they're going to eat them (which I think we're supposed to assume they want to) why don't they just eat them there, at the stake? She's not going anywhere, and she's holding still, so the dragon could just cook her or eat her, pretty easily, but when the Knight goes to save the girl, she's always back at the Dragon's Lair.

Which is where this gets weird. At least for me. I mean, if he's gonna eat her, he might as well have already done it, right? So what is he bringing her back to his Lair for? Does he need her to use her small, human arms to reach something he can't get to? Is he making her clean his Lair for him? Is there some weird Dragon etiquette about only eating Maidens inside the Lair? Whats going on?

I'm not sure, at this point. It just seems really weird.

The best I could come up with, is that Dragons are probably reptilian, and that they can't produce their own body heat (which sounds hokey when combined with breathing fire). Now, if you've ever been to the pet store, you've seen those miniature electric blankets that you can get for your reptile pet's cages...And once your pet iguana lays on that thing, he's not moving. Ever. I had a friend who had one and the iguana just stayed there, forever, basking. I'm thinking, the Dragon kidnaps the Princess, not to eat her, but as a source of warmth. Maybe he has a nest, and he puts the Princess in there, like she's an electric blanket.

Of course, the first time he rolls over in his sleep he's gonna need a new Princess, which explains the Dragon going back to where he got the first one, and the repetitive sacrifices that draw the Knight's attention.