Things I learned yesterday:
-Watched Legion and Book of Eli. Book of Eli is a better movie, but I liked it less than Legion.
-Apparently I can't tell Paul Bettany apart from Jude Law.
-I guessed the plot twist in Book of Eli the first time I saw an ad for it. And I was right.
-The last thing you want to do is get in a wing fight with an archangel. Wings count as bladed weapons AND armor.
-Something went terribly wrong with the Superbowl ads.
-An iPod battery can become so empty it won't charge. Because it's empty and the iPod wants to boot, but the battery is empty. Repeat x10,000.
-The new Clash of the Titans looks so good I would sell a kidney to go see it right now.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Still Ghostwriting for Shakespeare
I had this crazy dream this morning that a lost Shakespeare play had been found. It was called "To Wit" and was about... This young man who was getting married and took all of his friends out to his country estate for revelry before the wedding. They were going to hunt for a week, and drink, and boast about things, and then the bride would show up with her family and friends, and the play would end with a wedding. Only the friends of the bride were going to marry the friends of the groom, and the play was much funnier than it sounds.
Part of the reason it was a 'lost' play was that Shakespeare had written it in secret and had half the men played by women, and half the women played by men. Most of the boasting and jokes had to do with gender roles and sexism.
I remember in the first part, once they'd all just arrived at the country estate two of the men, Gracen and... this guy who's name I can't recall, they get drunk and start boasting about how they're both such good hunters they don't have to stalk their prey, they just hide so well it comes to them. And Kiera Knightly was playing Gracen and I think Karl Urban was playing the guy who's name I can't remember. And they wind up in the yard of the estate, pointing to trees and barrels saying they could hide behind them so well no one would ever find them. At one point Gracen is hiding behind a lone wagon wheel he's propped up in the middle of a field and it's after dusk and they're drunk and the other guy can't find him in the dark so he wins the boast off...
It was the most hilarious thing I had ever seen.
And then Nikki started crying and hopping up and down on the bed wanting breakfast and you have no idea how furious I am I did not get to see the rest of the play.
Part of the reason it was a 'lost' play was that Shakespeare had written it in secret and had half the men played by women, and half the women played by men. Most of the boasting and jokes had to do with gender roles and sexism.
I remember in the first part, once they'd all just arrived at the country estate two of the men, Gracen and... this guy who's name I can't recall, they get drunk and start boasting about how they're both such good hunters they don't have to stalk their prey, they just hide so well it comes to them. And Kiera Knightly was playing Gracen and I think Karl Urban was playing the guy who's name I can't remember. And they wind up in the yard of the estate, pointing to trees and barrels saying they could hide behind them so well no one would ever find them. At one point Gracen is hiding behind a lone wagon wheel he's propped up in the middle of a field and it's after dusk and they're drunk and the other guy can't find him in the dark so he wins the boast off...
It was the most hilarious thing I had ever seen.
And then Nikki started crying and hopping up and down on the bed wanting breakfast and you have no idea how furious I am I did not get to see the rest of the play.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Cake in Wonderland
So I was watching the SyFy Alice miniseries the other week (it's actually pretty cute) and Hatter has this great line, where he's trying to make Alice feel better about liking a guy who's been kidnapped. He tells Alice that,
"Trust me - I, I know a thing or two about liking people. And in time, after much chocolate and cream cake, 'like' turns into 'what was his name again.'".
Oh, and this is Hatter.
I like the quote. But then I was like 'what's cream cake?'. Is it like Cream Soda? Just plain vanilla cake? Apparently, after trolling some recipe sites, it's cake sliced thin with a pudding/custard inside.
Can't be that hard to make, I figure, and pick up the ingredients. And it's not.
Not until you get to the slice the cake thin part. Thank god Amie was over. First you pop the cake out of the pan, then slice it in half with a huge bread knife, then lift the top off without breaking it, then put the bottom back in the pan, then add pudding, then put the top back on without breaking it.
In hindsight I think if you're trying to make it look pretty you should probably let the pudding set up then spread it on the bottom slice, and put the whole cake on a platter instead of back in the pan. But whatever.
Chocolate Fudge Cake Mix + Vanilla Pudding + Light Cream Cheese + Strawberries = So much better than it should be. I expected this to be good. I wasn't expecting it to be one of those things you have to sit down to eat. It's over the top good.
Definitely 'what was his name' good.
"Trust me - I, I know a thing or two about liking people. And in time, after much chocolate and cream cake, 'like' turns into 'what was his name again.'".
Oh, and this is Hatter.
I like the quote. But then I was like 'what's cream cake?'. Is it like Cream Soda? Just plain vanilla cake? Apparently, after trolling some recipe sites, it's cake sliced thin with a pudding/custard inside.
Can't be that hard to make, I figure, and pick up the ingredients. And it's not.
Not until you get to the slice the cake thin part. Thank god Amie was over. First you pop the cake out of the pan, then slice it in half with a huge bread knife, then lift the top off without breaking it, then put the bottom back in the pan, then add pudding, then put the top back on without breaking it.
In hindsight I think if you're trying to make it look pretty you should probably let the pudding set up then spread it on the bottom slice, and put the whole cake on a platter instead of back in the pan. But whatever.
Chocolate Fudge Cake Mix + Vanilla Pudding + Light Cream Cheese + Strawberries = So much better than it should be. I expected this to be good. I wasn't expecting it to be one of those things you have to sit down to eat. It's over the top good.
Definitely 'what was his name' good.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Reply
Dear Anonymous,
Sorry it took me so long to reply to this- it's Christmas and I have a lot of holiday hours. But I have been meaning to reply since the day I saw your comment.
I don't want you to think I'm a heartless bastard. I'm not. But I also lived through the whole McDonald's Coffee In My Lap thing and it was one of those moments I knew the world had gone crazy. Someone put coffee in their lap and spilled it on their junk and sued McDonalds for a gazillion dollars. As if they didn't know coffee is hot. Seriously?
And there's this "who can I sue?" billboard on 75 Southbound.
And you're right, I don't have kids. I probably won't ever. But I do have dogs. I have had dogs for going on a quarter of a century and I've also worked in retail for over ten years. I'm not saying dogs and customers are the same as having kids, but they're the best I can go with, really.
And before I get any farther, I feel really bad for the parents that they lost their kids. Any death is sad and important and meaningful. I'm not trying to take away from that.
But what I meant in my blog entry is where has personal responsibility gone? Kids drown in swimming pools and you don't see pools getting closed down- they get gates and locks and I've even seen these wrist band things that sound an alarm in water. Kids put things in power outlets and the power company doesn't issue a recall- you buy those little plastic things that go in outlets. Kids eat stuff under the sink- you call poison control and get lock things for drawers or put rubber bands around the knobs.
Now, what I saw on the news for this blind thing was this weird roman blind where it had loops of string at the bottom to draw the blinds up. I have never seen blinds like that in real life. I also saw normal style blinds with strands of cords- they weren't linked at the bottom and weren't long enough to reach the windowsill. In my house we have some sort of cordless roman blind.
My first thought seeing the regular blinds with the hanging strands is, 'can't you just tie the cords in a bow higher up?' because I have been to houses like that. It never occurred to me why, but hey, there you go.
The other thing that bugged me about this case, which you pointed out in that parents can't be everywhere, was where were the parents and where were the kids? Say you left your kid in one of those pen things- there's a loud thump from the other room as the kid climbs out. Then the kid has to toddle across the room a bit until he happens upon the unknotted blinds, and then there's the loud rattling of blinds while the kid plays with them before something bad happens. This is easily ten to fifteen minutes, in my mind.
When I hear a noise upstairs and I don't see my dogs the first thing I do is yell their names- at which point you usually hear them panic and tip over the garbage can. Or I go look to see what they're up to. When I hear a noise I find out what it is, immediatly, because they're dogs. They might be up to anything. I don't wait several minutes to go investigate.
Other story about the dogs- I took Bailey to the petstore and because she was well behaved I bought her this sausage style dog food. And while I was trying to break it into pieces she ate the whole thing in one bite and you could see it get lodged in her throat. And she looked at me like oh my god and started choking and I reached into her mouth and grabbed the sausage and pulled it out. And she promptly tried to eat it again.
They're dogs. They have no idea what they're doing. They'd probably eat laundry soap if it was on the floor. That's why you have to keep an eye on them.
And what I can't fathom with these kids and blinds cases is what the parents were doing. Sleeping? Sure, I guess so. I'm a pretty light sleeper though. In the other room? There are those little walkie talkie things. At my Dad's house when my little brother was kept in a pen, we just dragged the pen to whatever room we were in.
Or when they buy plastic outlet blockers and things to keep drawers shut they could tie the cords up in a bow.
Sorry it took me so long to reply to this- it's Christmas and I have a lot of holiday hours. But I have been meaning to reply since the day I saw your comment.
I don't want you to think I'm a heartless bastard. I'm not. But I also lived through the whole McDonald's Coffee In My Lap thing and it was one of those moments I knew the world had gone crazy. Someone put coffee in their lap and spilled it on their junk and sued McDonalds for a gazillion dollars. As if they didn't know coffee is hot. Seriously?
And there's this "who can I sue?" billboard on 75 Southbound.
And you're right, I don't have kids. I probably won't ever. But I do have dogs. I have had dogs for going on a quarter of a century and I've also worked in retail for over ten years. I'm not saying dogs and customers are the same as having kids, but they're the best I can go with, really.
And before I get any farther, I feel really bad for the parents that they lost their kids. Any death is sad and important and meaningful. I'm not trying to take away from that.
But what I meant in my blog entry is where has personal responsibility gone? Kids drown in swimming pools and you don't see pools getting closed down- they get gates and locks and I've even seen these wrist band things that sound an alarm in water. Kids put things in power outlets and the power company doesn't issue a recall- you buy those little plastic things that go in outlets. Kids eat stuff under the sink- you call poison control and get lock things for drawers or put rubber bands around the knobs.
Now, what I saw on the news for this blind thing was this weird roman blind where it had loops of string at the bottom to draw the blinds up. I have never seen blinds like that in real life. I also saw normal style blinds with strands of cords- they weren't linked at the bottom and weren't long enough to reach the windowsill. In my house we have some sort of cordless roman blind.
My first thought seeing the regular blinds with the hanging strands is, 'can't you just tie the cords in a bow higher up?' because I have been to houses like that. It never occurred to me why, but hey, there you go.
The other thing that bugged me about this case, which you pointed out in that parents can't be everywhere, was where were the parents and where were the kids? Say you left your kid in one of those pen things- there's a loud thump from the other room as the kid climbs out. Then the kid has to toddle across the room a bit until he happens upon the unknotted blinds, and then there's the loud rattling of blinds while the kid plays with them before something bad happens. This is easily ten to fifteen minutes, in my mind.
When I hear a noise upstairs and I don't see my dogs the first thing I do is yell their names- at which point you usually hear them panic and tip over the garbage can. Or I go look to see what they're up to. When I hear a noise I find out what it is, immediatly, because they're dogs. They might be up to anything. I don't wait several minutes to go investigate.
Other story about the dogs- I took Bailey to the petstore and because she was well behaved I bought her this sausage style dog food. And while I was trying to break it into pieces she ate the whole thing in one bite and you could see it get lodged in her throat. And she looked at me like oh my god and started choking and I reached into her mouth and grabbed the sausage and pulled it out. And she promptly tried to eat it again.
They're dogs. They have no idea what they're doing. They'd probably eat laundry soap if it was on the floor. That's why you have to keep an eye on them.
And what I can't fathom with these kids and blinds cases is what the parents were doing. Sleeping? Sure, I guess so. I'm a pretty light sleeper though. In the other room? There are those little walkie talkie things. At my Dad's house when my little brother was kept in a pen, we just dragged the pen to whatever room we were in.
Or when they buy plastic outlet blockers and things to keep drawers shut they could tie the cords up in a bow.
Friday, December 18, 2009
War of the Worlds
Finished "Days of Grass" this morning- it'd been a long time since I'd been to a used book store and found a Tanith Lee novel I hadn't already read or owned. Found this one over at Book Nook about a week ago and only just picked it up last night. It's pretty much War of the Worlds, if she'd written it first- aliens come down and take over the planet and humanity goes to hide underground and the heroine sneaks up now and then to see what surface life is like. And then she gets captured by the aliens and taken to a city they've made. It's good, but it's not Tales of the Flat Earth.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Logic? Lolwut?
Apparently there is a gigantic recall on blinds today. Because... Get this...
Kids can strangle themselves on the cords.
I WAS UNAWARE THAT CHILD PENS HAD STOPPED BEING MANUFACTURED. OR THAT PARENTS DIDN'T HAVE TO KEEP AN EYE ON KIDS.
Who knew?
Kids can strangle themselves on the cords.
I WAS UNAWARE THAT CHILD PENS HAD STOPPED BEING MANUFACTURED. OR THAT PARENTS DIDN'T HAVE TO KEEP AN EYE ON KIDS.
Who knew?
Ennui
Sorry blog, haven't been able to think of anything to write about so it's been a slow month.
I did this big knitting project the other way and misread the directions (which weren't that clear) and two days worth of work is all wrong. Mom made a scene while I unwound the knitting so I could redo it- it was like I was painting over the Mona Lisa.
Haven't done any Christmas shopping, though two knitting projects are done. Two more to do, I think. Or three. I should probably make a list tomorrow.
Made up a character to play in my friend's Blue Rose game. Blue Rose is called Romantic Fantasy- I'm not fond of that name, but whatever- it's the difference between most Dungeons and Dragons games and most fantasy novels written in the last twenty years. More abandoned moonlit temples and court intrigue than undead vikings coming over the mountain to kidnap the mayor's daughter. Drew my character on the back of my sheet- it's amazing how well I can draw for someone who can't actually draw.
Saw Ninja Assassin and The Princess and the Frog. I don't know if my childhood memories of Disney are just rosy colored from that age- I don't watch Disney anymore- but when I heard that Princess and the Frog was the best since Lion King I was a little excited about seeing it. Went and saw it with Amie and Joel and I don't know what reviewer made that comparison or what they were on at the time, but they're not even in the same league. I can think of songs from Lion King (The Circle of Life, Can you feel the love tonight, Hakuna Matata) or Aladdin (A Whole New World) or The Little Mermaid (Part of Your World)- I can't recall any songs from Princess and the Frog besides "Almost There" and I've got nothing other than the title. I guess it was ok. I don't know. It was pretty. It wasn't Miyazaki.
(On that note, Ponyo rocked my face off. And now I really want to go watch Spirited Away again.)
However, Ninja Assassin was everything it promised- fifteen gallons of blood in the human body and it's all under high pressure and the ninjas have lots of sharp pointy things. It had a neat story too- though I think I thought it'd be a bit more since I saw JMS in the credits. There was a lot of back flipping, too. And the ninja hero guy spends a lot of time working out in his apartment in sleep pants.
I had a weird thought at the used book store the other day. I was over at Book Nook since some friends live near there, and I wanted to see if they had something I couldn't find at Book Exchange and I realized there's some things you just can't find. Oddly enough, there's about eighty something Outlanders books by James Axler and at least that many Deathlands books- you're lucky if there's more than five in a used book store. Where do they go? I have no idea. I never see them anywhere. However, there's usually at least one Zecheria Sitchin book and so far I've managed to collect nearly the whole series from Book Exchange alone. And I realized no matter what used book store I go to I pretty much always find something really interesting sounding that is book three in a five book series- and you are never ever going to see the other four books. It's like they don't exist. There's something called the Silver Thorn or Silver Throne series written by someone with a last name that starts with "Mc" and I see it every used book store I go to, and it's never the first one.
I did this big knitting project the other way and misread the directions (which weren't that clear) and two days worth of work is all wrong. Mom made a scene while I unwound the knitting so I could redo it- it was like I was painting over the Mona Lisa.
Haven't done any Christmas shopping, though two knitting projects are done. Two more to do, I think. Or three. I should probably make a list tomorrow.
Made up a character to play in my friend's Blue Rose game. Blue Rose is called Romantic Fantasy- I'm not fond of that name, but whatever- it's the difference between most Dungeons and Dragons games and most fantasy novels written in the last twenty years. More abandoned moonlit temples and court intrigue than undead vikings coming over the mountain to kidnap the mayor's daughter. Drew my character on the back of my sheet- it's amazing how well I can draw for someone who can't actually draw.
Saw Ninja Assassin and The Princess and the Frog. I don't know if my childhood memories of Disney are just rosy colored from that age- I don't watch Disney anymore- but when I heard that Princess and the Frog was the best since Lion King I was a little excited about seeing it. Went and saw it with Amie and Joel and I don't know what reviewer made that comparison or what they were on at the time, but they're not even in the same league. I can think of songs from Lion King (The Circle of Life, Can you feel the love tonight, Hakuna Matata) or Aladdin (A Whole New World) or The Little Mermaid (Part of Your World)- I can't recall any songs from Princess and the Frog besides "Almost There" and I've got nothing other than the title. I guess it was ok. I don't know. It was pretty. It wasn't Miyazaki.
(On that note, Ponyo rocked my face off. And now I really want to go watch Spirited Away again.)
However, Ninja Assassin was everything it promised- fifteen gallons of blood in the human body and it's all under high pressure and the ninjas have lots of sharp pointy things. It had a neat story too- though I think I thought it'd be a bit more since I saw JMS in the credits. There was a lot of back flipping, too. And the ninja hero guy spends a lot of time working out in his apartment in sleep pants.
I had a weird thought at the used book store the other day. I was over at Book Nook since some friends live near there, and I wanted to see if they had something I couldn't find at Book Exchange and I realized there's some things you just can't find. Oddly enough, there's about eighty something Outlanders books by James Axler and at least that many Deathlands books- you're lucky if there's more than five in a used book store. Where do they go? I have no idea. I never see them anywhere. However, there's usually at least one Zecheria Sitchin book and so far I've managed to collect nearly the whole series from Book Exchange alone. And I realized no matter what used book store I go to I pretty much always find something really interesting sounding that is book three in a five book series- and you are never ever going to see the other four books. It's like they don't exist. There's something called the Silver Thorn or Silver Throne series written by someone with a last name that starts with "Mc" and I see it every used book store I go to, and it's never the first one.
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